What I'm giving up for Lent

Tomorrow starts Lent 2007. I have been ruminating for quite a while about what to give up. Then it hit me:

I'm going to give up pursuing stale friendships.

This might resonate with some of you; perhaps you know what I'm talking about. Without using names, I plan to divorce the following people. Believe me, they won't even notice.

1. The couples who always insist that we should "get together over the holidays" or whatever. They dutifully come to get-togethers and parties. They love the hour-long phone chit chat. But, they never initiate phone conversations. Things are fun when we are together, but they make no effort to keep the friendship going.

2. The girlfriends from college that never call me. I love some of these girls like sisters, so I've made near-heroic efforts to keep it up -- Christmas cards, phone calls, emails. But if I drop off, they never pick up the ball. I think of them often; apparently it's not mutual. Or maybe it's just that I've set it up to do all the work. Well, no more.

3. Multi-level marketing "friends" and relatives. Ooooh this is a BIG one. These are the acquaintances that are selling something: phone service, craft stuff, health care products, vitamins. When they think you're interested in buying their products or -- even better -- joining their downline, they act intensely interested in you. You skip a hand lotion order and poof! they're gone. If the only time you're going to email me is to ask for an order, please don't bother. Life is too short for that kind of friendship.

4. The friends that *do* call once in a while, and always want to "get together," but never, ever, ever follow through. These are the friends who live 10 minutes away from you that you see once a year.

I'm busy. So are you. So what? Everyone is busy. Do you really not have time to send an occasional email or place a short phone call? Really? Telling me how intolerably busy you are doesn't do a thing for me. It tells me that my friendship is not worth even minimal effort on your part. Fair enough -- just let me know.

The bottom line is that people are self-centered. Me included. But really, selfishness has become a national epidemic. We are a people that value our things, our lifestyle, our success so much more than we value our relationships. I am one of these old-fashioned types that think that friendship is important. I suppose that's my problem.

O'Reilly and me

On Thursday, 25 January 2007, I shot Bill O'Reilly the following email:

Be honest. Your guest tonight was trying to make a point about Pelosi's "Catholicism" and you wouldn't let her finish. Why not? There are two types of judgment: That of the heart, and that of the action. What's wrong with judging Pelosi's actions? She objectively strays from Catholic teaching, yet she calls herself a Catholic. Your guests are not supposed to call her out on that? Come on, stop pandering. Political correctness is not becoming on you.

I was thinking at the time, I wonder how many emails I'd have to send to O'Reilly before he reads one of mine on the air? The answer is one. He read my note like this:

Bill, Chrisine O'Donnell was trying to make a point about Nancy Pelosi's Catholicism and you wouldn't let her finish."

Bill then said, "Correct, madame. I like Ms. O'Donnell, but when she said Ms. Pelosi doesn't follow any of the christian moral principles, I shut her down. The Deity makes those judgments, not sinners, like we all are."

Later in the letter-reading segment, he read this, written by Suzanne Graham in Chevy Chase, MD:

Nancy Pelosi seems to think she can call herself a Roman Catholic, but follow her own rules. Can't do it.

He responded with: "I understand your opinion, Ms. Graham, and you are entitled to it, but if you take it any further and condemn the woman, you intruding on the Deity's territory."

O'Reilly's an educated guy, but the obvious sure does pass him by.