What I'm giving up for Lent

Tomorrow starts Lent 2007. I have been ruminating for quite a while about what to give up. Then it hit me:

I'm going to give up pursuing stale friendships.

This might resonate with some of you; perhaps you know what I'm talking about. Without using names, I plan to divorce the following people. Believe me, they won't even notice.

1. The couples who always insist that we should "get together over the holidays" or whatever. They dutifully come to get-togethers and parties. They love the hour-long phone chit chat. But, they never initiate phone conversations. Things are fun when we are together, but they make no effort to keep the friendship going.

2. The girlfriends from college that never call me. I love some of these girls like sisters, so I've made near-heroic efforts to keep it up -- Christmas cards, phone calls, emails. But if I drop off, they never pick up the ball. I think of them often; apparently it's not mutual. Or maybe it's just that I've set it up to do all the work. Well, no more.

3. Multi-level marketing "friends" and relatives. Ooooh this is a BIG one. These are the acquaintances that are selling something: phone service, craft stuff, health care products, vitamins. When they think you're interested in buying their products or -- even better -- joining their downline, they act intensely interested in you. You skip a hand lotion order and poof! they're gone. If the only time you're going to email me is to ask for an order, please don't bother. Life is too short for that kind of friendship.

4. The friends that *do* call once in a while, and always want to "get together," but never, ever, ever follow through. These are the friends who live 10 minutes away from you that you see once a year.

I'm busy. So are you. So what? Everyone is busy. Do you really not have time to send an occasional email or place a short phone call? Really? Telling me how intolerably busy you are doesn't do a thing for me. It tells me that my friendship is not worth even minimal effort on your part. Fair enough -- just let me know.

The bottom line is that people are self-centered. Me included. But really, selfishness has become a national epidemic. We are a people that value our things, our lifestyle, our success so much more than we value our relationships. I am one of these old-fashioned types that think that friendship is important. I suppose that's my problem.