My new diet

I have tried them all: Weight Watchers, Covert Bailey, Bob Greene, Body for Life, and my personal favourite, Atkins.

[Allow me to digress momentarily about Atkins. I *love* this diet. When I am calorie-conscious and keep to to less than 1500 kCal, I lose weight like crazy, all the while enjoying eggs, cream in my coffee, etc. This carnivore doesn't care about not having dessert!]

One thing about almost every diet I've ever been on is that it seems contrary to God's plan. Two eggs a week, no red meat, drink this shake . . . Is this really what God wants our diet to look like? As much as I love the Atkins diet, I find it hard to believe I'm meant to forego fruit but Splenda and sugar alcohol is okay. Come on!

So this week, I'm starting something new in my house: The God's Plan Diet. We'll be eating fruit, veggies (cooked and raw), cheese, all the eggs we want, lots of nuts, honey, red meat, fish, and chicken. We'll be steering clear of white flour, refined sugar, and processed foods like velveeta. We'll be utilizing the crock pot, getting back to basics, baking bread again, and enjoying more natural cuisine.

I need to lose some weight. (Some is my code word for a lot.) So, while my kids are drinking whole milk and wolfing down peanuts, I'll be keeping track of portion sizes, calorie counts (sort of), and training myself to be satisfied with enough.

This whole plan, of course, means the Great Divorce from diet coke. I've heard rumours of people not surviving such traumas; I can only hope my beefy constitution can live through the transition.

Who is the patron saint of giving up soda?